when did I become a wino?
i like vino, too much.
i like vino, too much.
my only true companion and I’m not complaining.
spotify, tumblr, netflix and wine. Tonight is good.
had an early picnic in the park. The whole set-up. Baked goods, Fruit, Iced Tea. I was enjoying the nice morning breeze, when a really pretty girl approached me and asked if she could join me. I said that it was fine. Then she complimented the way I ate a plum, in a very descriptive sexual way…
Thinking back, I probably shouldn’t have eaten the stupid plum, it was a messy affair. But to my defense… I thought I would be eating alone!
had a dream that I was at a supermarket and a random naked guy walked in. He was in front of me in the checkout lane later in the dream. A big girl was standing sort of in between us. The naked guy said something about being worried that cops would stop him. The big girl said something about him not having to worry about it, that there were no gay people in town. Then both naked guy and I said we were gay. The girl made a weird face. Then I woke up. Fucking weird.
But my morning got weirder. I actually had to go to buy groceries. While in target, I ran into an old friend from middle school, who I hadn’t seen since middle school. We got to talking and I asked him if he was okay (He was looking a little rough) This is how the conversation went in a nutshell
me: Are you okay? you look a little tired
him:Yeah I’m fine, I just got bailed out of jail a few hours ago.
him:Yeah, the things we do for love eh?
me: what do you mean?
him:I went to jail for love(and he laughed).
At this precise moment his friend joined us, and he had overheard the conversation. (I kind of knew the friend too, from high school) Anyways, I was not expecting this, but the friend said this,
friend: He didn’t go to jail for love. He tried to pick up a fucking hooker.
friend: yeah, had to bail his ass off, his mom wouldn’t.
me: Oh okay, yeah. Well good seeing you guys.
Of course I bumped into them again as I was leaving the store. It’s only 11:35am.
and don’t give a flip if they’re stupid:
-Go to clubs before midnight to not pay a cover. I’ll be three shots drunker!
-Quote 30 Rock like it’s my job.
-watch Sons of Anarchy for the wrong reasons in my undies.
-Watch the same movie every night for a week or two.(Howl’s Moving Castle, My week with Marilyn)
-take the bus downtown for no reason.
-flirt with older ladies in the bus just for the fun/awkwardness of it.
-go on picnics alone.
-sing the theme song for “New Girl” at random moments.
-quote SNL sketches, especially ones with Kristen Wiig.
-pretend to be Kristen Wigg, and say things like, “Yes, I’m with him. I’m Mrs. Igles; Mrs. Iglesias”
-Read outside of Planet Smoothie.
-Drink Iced Passion Tea Lemonade from Starbucks.
-Getting a refill ten minutes later.
-Read comics in the park under some shade.
-Go jogging with my best friend during the warmest time of the day.
-Pretend to be Scottish while grocery shopping.
-whenever I forget someone’s name, I have two default names that i use instead. For guys it’s Declan and for girls it’s Melody Bostic.
-Say “I wanna give him one” too often.
-Drink vodka and chase it with wine or a mixed drink.
-be the first person to get on an empty dance floor.
-whisper “filthy muggle” when someone says something ridiculous.